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Rabb/it :
"Why would I got into situation like this? It was under control but now, it's getting spiral out of control and I can't take it anymore. Why is it that my $$ always drain out of me and promises are so far that I can't see it anymore. It's lost along the way and I'm in the worst in my life. Fuck city life. I feel pathetic. I almost have had enough to stay in this same place for 5 years. I had my chances. I know I can do better but I was restrained. I feel unsatisfied. I can't fucking smile for any longer. It's just frustrated."
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The feeling of trusting someone completely, it doesn't come easily or free. It's straining, just the same as the person promised the trust. But why are we still doing it? Is it really worth it? If it ain't, it's easy to figure what to do next. But if it's not that way, how do I handle?
What is love anyway? Because there's love hence I should be suffering at the same time? It doesn't make sense but just the way it is. Only when things go sideways, that we are doubting. Well, probably it's just me.
I lost my concentration, I can't get them together at all. I know I had problems concentrating since I can remember, but who is to believe and help? I can only channel the what left of the concerntration to manage his matters. Just because it was worth it. It is still worth it but I have lost sight of the vision, I need help to see and realise it again.
I feel like the bottom is yet to come. I fear the process sometimes. I always wonder, if I fail at that task, what comes next? The grueling process.
Always *remember to* remember that it's worth it, that's why you're doing it. Believe and Trust have a huge gap in their own league. Always, give it all you have, so that there are no regrets. Just that, it's all worth it...
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It's dawn and fucking caffeine that Rabb/it had 6 hours ago...
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